This is how i'am??dreamer of the prettiest thing in this world
....LOVE...(but i'am not desperated)hhhmmm is that wish to high for me??i guess not!!
but that's not the only reson why did i wrote this....
there's alot of things...question surrounding my mind..
one day i would let everyone know whatttt is bothering my mind(even they don't wish too)and uccualy i'am a person that lost my identity...(not really)i've been thinking alot of things that not exist,sometimes i didn't even know what i'm thinking about..very confusing indeed
sometimes i ask my self..am i alright?but don't worry hihihihih....

back to basic

Life do have a choice
sometimes when i sat alone and staring outside my window i though something in my mind
changes...yup..change..not my personality or my caracter but breaking the habit.
honestly i've been wasting alot of things in my life..moral and material..
sometimes i found hard to focus in my life..my attention distracted and its hard...to be a better person..independent woman.
i got alot of things to do..to plan...to get...and for that i have to..
changs someof my habitthat u opend almostall my times but nothing in return...i'm tired
i wish i could do that(must)bcoz life do have a choice

confused

It's funny when i can't find my self
looking from outside i'm standing here...
but all i want is to be over there
why did i let my self believe
miracles could happend
cause now i have to pretend
tha i dont really cre
i thought you were my fairytale
my dream where i'm not sleeping
i wish upon astars that's coming true
but everybody else could tell
that i confused my feelings with the truth
where yjere ws me and you
i swore i knew the melody
that i heard you singing
you made me feel
like i could sing along
but then you went and change the words
now my heart is empty
i'm only left with used-to-be's
and once upon a song...
i can't believe that i could be so blind
it's like you were floating while i was falling
and i didn't mind
because i like the view
i thougt you felt it too
when there was me and you

Thank you baby

Thank you baby..for sending me little things,to make me think
Laugh or smile..for when i'm down .it picks me up.
It's only for a while...that is why you are so dear..
Because you care for me..and you know your there with:
A listening ear or to take away blues,And i give thanks to you...
The good lord send your way for he knows i need some cheers..
Each and everyday to thank you for the wonderful gifts that i
receive...so i send My love to you because i know that you're are special,through and true....

What did i feel??

I look in the mirorr and sometimes i don't like my self
I relized there is a lot of me i don't know and that there is so much i can improve
Frish i have to learn that peolpe are sensitive to what i say...
I tend to be frank and sometimes hurt other people..
I hate that about my self.i always believe if someone love or care someone be honest to that person,and end up hurting people,so then i get confused and don't know why it all ends when it should be an honest exchange,These days were so full of emotions and i'am trying to find my self again...it's not easy uuugggggggggghhhhhh..

My fed up!!(again)

MY CURRENTLY MOOD:FED UP!!!!
Sometimes.....

I just feel unhappy.....

I don't know what is so wrong with me today.....?????

Do i woke up on the wrong side....???

Or just my bad day.....???

I don't know.....???!!!

I start my day with bad mood...all started from the time...I going to take shower...and getting ready to take my break fast....ooohhh well...(sigh)ok,9am already when I finished my work...(oooohhhh I gonna be late!!!!)

Rushing to bathroom...get dress up...!!!and ruuunnnnnn to the bus stop,luckly(for once)bus came as soon as I reach there....but my heart still feeling hmmmmmmhppp....!!!!just not right...@^@ ok nothing happend...ecxept...i sit with Indonesia handsome guy but feel very boring to look at him although he try to talk to me..but i ignore him as well uuuggghhhh!!!!!!!!

But what can i do I got to take it....(calm..calm...I told my self)

Well when i reach home at the noon time and guess whattttttttt???My computer is erorr..and the technician need 20 minutes to fix it!!!!wewwww..!!!ok very well I waited impatiently.Hmmmmm computer fixed...and i fell really tired...all going smoothly..but...again i got irritated with a girl from Indonesia too....she is friend from my friend and she's coming to my home with my friend.she keep seeking attention in front of me and my other friend..with firlting kind of attitude when she was talking someting....(my ear really felt disgusted just like my eyes)and her dressing...oohhh my GOD....!!!this is not discotic..!!!hello....???(huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!Ihate it....)

She and her other friend keep talking very laudly..on the phone with they boyfriend...!!!!

Well everything goes fine..when they all leave my home quikly...i really FED UP today...and the rest of the day..i just feel not right in my heart...i end up.....UNHAPPYY......till now...uugghhhhhh!!!!! except with best friend angga(love u ANGGA)I can't wait to close my eyes and wake up in the new and better dayyyyyyyyyyyyy..........

In case 2morrow never comes...

Promise me no more than that day...each day...each moment....we will be all that we can be for our self for one another,That we will give all that we can give...without reservation.without resentement,without fear.give to me no more than you would have me give to you,expect from me no more than you would give to me,share all that you are expect all that i'am.In hesitationlies uncertainty defeat,what dwells within your heart bears truth for you.Listen only to your heart can beat as one...and one heart can do impossible things.Know always that each tomorrow is a gift we can do impossible things.know always that each tomorrow is a gift we can not ask for,but only be greatful for,s dayligt fades to night,be thankful for the moments shared and in your heart hold tight the hand that holds you tight....and know that love is always right.in case tomorrow never comes...remember comes...remember always...that i have LOVE YOU...deeply,fully and eternally...so mote it be....I DO LOVE YOU BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Promises to keep

In an instant this moment will have passed and all that might have been will be ni more,new p

possibilities creep in with each breath we take,new dreams arise to fill us with hope,there are no guarantees in life,no promises that the sun will ever lift its self to shine upon us,yet there promises to be kept.some promises are only whispered the depths of night when the only sound to be heard is that of your gentle breathing.My mind floods with the emotion that i feel at the sound of your voice,laughter that reasonates in the deepest corners of my heart,i do not know the answer...not even fully yet questien still,i know that only two can fulfill,of course that only two can walk,no promises that ever we walk this path.yet still promises to be kept.What is today is not necesarily what will be tomorrow,times changes all and in your journey there is much you have done to smooth your own path.yet still you walk it in solitary silence,if determination could win battles there would be no more,for you would have to won them all,hold tight to that dream,to strength,to faith that what we will can be another promise yet to keep.You stand alone upon the barren ground,facing all that comes to you with anly what you can muster of your own,i tell you truly..love..reach out your hnd and will take it,let me be the rock you lean against...as you have been for me,let me be eart that hears your pain...and the arms that you hold you close so that none will ever take your strengh again,as you hold me up and bring laughter to my spirit when it is briken...so let me hold you..i'm not weak,i'm not afraid,i want only to give to you as you give to me.with open heart,with confidence,with trust,with love,my promise to keep.As one can be bent in the winds of frustation,two can hold strong to one another,as one can fail from weariness,two can find strenght in one another,as one can find silence echoing with loneliness,two can find it rings with compionship,there are no promise,love and no apportunities if we fail to reach out and take them...reach out your hand to me..trust that always will i hold it tight,and know that what strengh i can loan...is your always baby...from my bottom of my heart...to yours,a promise i will always keep.

Poison(stupid rock drink it)

Your crue.....deep eyes.....

Your blood....like ice.....
One look could kill....

My pain..your thrill........

Iwant to love you..but i dare not touch......

I want to hold you...but my senses tell me to stop....

I want to kiss you....
but i want it too much...

I want to taste you...nut your lips are venomous poison...You're Poison running trough my veins...

You're poison....Idon't wanna break these chains...!!!!You're mouth...so hot.....You're web...I'm caught....You're skin....so wet....Black lace on sweat....Ihear you calling....and it's...needles and pins.....Iwant to hurt you..just to hear you screaming my name....Don't want to touch you....But you're under my skin....deep in.......You are poison...running in my veins...............

FOR MY LOVELY BABY.....please don't do such thing like this agin...coz really i don't want to lose you...and i can't live without youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....!!!!!

These three days

Uuuuhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm........

I don't know exacly why...??for the last three days i've got something's not right in my days,every night my tears always fall down and it reallly bother me much..!!!i try to pray..maybe i can lose this feeling soon but untill last night i still have those silly things.Those are the DISAPPOINTED felt..!!!i know that...i still feel it and i'm sure it bother me much,i really don't want those things are back again in my days.i have my own days now,my days are ot fully alone.i have my friend and now there's someone who really nice to me,i should not have those silly things again.i burried it down in the bottom of my heart.These three days were killing me alooooottttt!!!but i don't even know what to do!!!i hope i can really heal from my wounted,i hope i can release all those disappointed.

But..latter on in the night time around 11.30pm i recieve sms,i know it the number and the pic that shows in my fone...bit happy recieve that sms(coz i fell disappointed and cry everynight is because of him)i opened those sms from ''Rock''but the message really make me big shock and cry alot...the messege said:Are you Hani?I'm rock cousin,Rock is in hospital,he commited sicide,although he is out of danger yet fainted,i'm keepin his cell fone,if you like to talk to me,please you call me''then...'' My name is''FARHAN''everyone is crying for him,till yesterday he was happy,but suddelly at night he took poison.if you want me send you his hospital so i can send you.Oh...my GOD...what's all of this??????i just try to let my eyes dry from tears that i speand for three days ago,but suddelly had something happend again like this??i really can't control everything it was a big shock for me,not wait anymore i call ''rock''but there was other people answer his fone and telling everything...i can't talk anymore and crying alot...it happend on 23 june 2008 last week.i'am crying whole night and do pray for him and ask to ALLAH to save him from danger.with much of wonder i keep waiting from he's cousin to telling me how was rock in that time,with crying and best hope from him...then at 03:49am he;s cousin send me sms''Hi..farhan here,rock is awake,congratulation,;m talking to him,you can call him now''.with happiness and Big thanks to GOD i do call him and talk to him.i'am started to cry when i hear his voice..coz he was very weak..i'm really feel so upsed but i try to hide my tears from him.thanks alot to GOD ur ready save his life.Baby...if all of that are my fault i'm really feel sorry...but i didn't mean that i will leave you sweet hearttttttttttttttttttt.......I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY...Now,Yesterday,Tomorrow,Next day,Eveyday and all the time i will loving you always...forever and ever sweet heart..till end of my life...

What's wrong with me

Fuuuuuuuuuiiiihhhh.....!!!!
It's been almost a week..since i'm trying to sleep well every night..but i still could didn't,i have tried so many ways just to had my sleep well and tide.but it seems none of those ways are useful for me,i have tried to drink milk every night just like my mother said,but my eyes are still opene so wide,and they're not tired at all..what's wrong with me....???
Yeeeeesssss i do....!!!i felt like something wrong with me lately just suddenly,i felt insecure and not fells right about anything....i know something been bothered me,but the problem is i don't even know it was what and why??so...defficult for me to solve this sleep problem.
Hmmmmm....I think i need some refreshing...
Well..maybe i will try to go somewhere next day or next week..but still don't know where is it???
Hahahah,,,this sleeping problems driving me crazy!!!!it fells like in hell,i couldn't think fresh and smart,i coulddn't do anything which make me enjoyable,nothing seems work.I'm soooo miss my sleep-well night,my nice dream night and everything which related to the sleep-well things,I really hope soon i will find to make my night be more exited and still-WHAT'S WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...---???????????

For you

As the night closes around me,I crul up on the couch and wish i could ask you..what you think?what you feel?what you want?what you dream of?getting to know is an experience that could take life time,without exhausting all my question..all my curiosity...all my need,there are..this moment...this day,as i make that evalution...i relize that i'am almost exacly where i want to be.
Life is so good for me,i think sometimes that i have been the most fortuned person,i have so much and i have no complaints about what i have been given,and then i found you...and you light up my days as if a sun shone down upon my head,the drops of rain that have washed clean are drying,in lght you cash upon me and i feel only eagerness to that next step to learn even more.The time is not out yet upon us...and i have much to work through before we reach that day yet...i feel as if no one has understood me as you do..and no one ever walked beside me so patiently,you do not touch me yet you do...you do not hold me yet you do..you do not know me yet you do...

Since you come into my life..i'm never quiet the same as i was an instant before,like a prism reflecting,reflacted light...i change as the light upon me changes..new color,new moods,new attitudes,continually changing,it can make it most exhausting to be exposed to me,there are days wish that i could be all all that you ever dreamed of,still not truly for''i'm who i'm comfortable with you baby...i wish you could be my friend,be my love,be my soulmate,and be all that you are..and know that in my way...in my heart...regardless of what has been and what will be..I LOVE YOU

This&that uuuggghhhh

I'm still feeling a little under the weather..fun times!!!it's not as bad as it started out though..thank goodness.the stuffiness(sinus i think)has nearly subsided,and really all thati'm left with it the headeche,i aso woke up with a stiff shoulder this morning,which was probably due to awkward sleeping positions,i just could not get comfortable.
I thought i would be excited about the Olympic,as i have in the past,not so much this time,i only have one station here that's running coverage and quiet frankly,it sucks,i only look forward to diving and gymnastics,there's not much else that i'm interested in,well last night i sat down to wach gymnastics after they mentioned they'd soon be going to it,i should have known better,it seems that swimming is all the rage,i got to wach a couple events before they went back to swimming,so irritating,i'm hoping it won't be like for all of the gymnastics coverage but i'm thinking it will.good luck anyway...!!!

Poor nephew

Today i really fell unhappy..bcoz My youngest nephew,may not be able to start pre K this year.The classes are at full capacity and he's still in 7th position on the waiting list.classes start in the morning,so it's not looking good.He was looking forward to it,surpringly enough,so he;s pretty bummed out,I think it's preety hopeless at this point,there's probably better luck finding a perfect ACNE CURE before he'll make it in before the AM.
Anyway...i sat down to watch some TV earlier but was disappointed ti find nothing on.Inclaudingthe olympics,as i mentioned previously,I guess my nephew not the only one that's bummed out that's night.i resorted to waching a movie wich lead to me forgetting that i still had my messengers running...oooopppsssssssssssss....!!!!!

Andy get fired...

Huhuhuhu....Andy get fired(the apprentice)how could be...???ngk terima dech gw..gw ampek
ngak kepikiran terus hebatnya kenaikan BBM yg ampek 85%pun,ngak mampu mengalihkan perhatian gw terhadap Andy get fired....juara debat se AMERICA,CUM LAUDE HARVARD,termuda di antara seluruh candidat calon pegawai trumph...
Wow...he's so Handsome right...??uuuggghhhh dont ask me about tat hehehehe....anyway..ANDY,was born raised in south florida where he reconized early on what it would take to succed in business,at the age of 13,Andy co-founded a concert package company,that focoused on both corporate and individual clients,as the youngest of four boys,Andy learned to use his speaking skill to defend himself at an early age in 1999,he utilized those verbal skill to win the U.S national debate championship in commentary speaking,Andy is a recent graduate of HARVARD UNIVERSITY,where he was founding member of organization delicated to fighting infectinued success both in and the broadroom.huhuhu...bye..bye..andy..

What i fell about you baby

There's no one like you in this world baby...

Always stays beside me..to see through and caring..
So thoughfull in all the things you do..

The ways you are always ssharing..
You are all i ever dreamed of..

Nothing else means more to me than knowing...

I LOVE YOU..and being and been loved by you..

I have a dream..i made a wish...

There's you inside..

When you be there for me..

If the world fall apart and were all of our memories re,ain in your heart

Through by my side...and follow my dreams..bear with pride...

As strong as it seems..will you be here with me..???

You..are.....!!!

The happiness i fell...when everything's gone wrong..

It's the way i sit here and think about crazy love songs..

It's the hope when everything's gone..

It's the dream i hold when i'm alone...

It's the sadness in my heart when i know you are not here

It's the safeness i have when i'm felling scared...

It's having some one to be with...some one you can't be without..

It's wanting to hold you in every second

That's all about youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

I MISSING YOU SO MUCH BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Arti persahabatan

Hai...girls...hihi...gmn nih kbr loe2 pade heheeh...miss u so mush frend..!!!tau ngak dalam persa
habatan ini pada dasarnya perjalanan kita bedaaaaa bnget..??ya jelas donk itu semua ye.....!!!tapi nak ush khawatir lol..gw sll ad di sisi loe semua kok...walu tujuan hidup kita berbeda tapi gw jnji kok akan sll ad di smping klian semua...walaupun dalam perjalanan yang kau kehendaki kita ttp mengisi hati satu dg yg lainya kan??so what...ngk ush khawatir tuk mnjelang ato menggapai ap yg di iginkan meski kita harus dlm jln yg berbeda,tapi..arti sahabat tak akan pernah reda.arti persahabatan kita akan selalu trbawa dalam segala suasana..banyak memori yg udah kita lalui bersama,problema,persahabatan di sa'at suka duka and ceria,tangis,and segala macam udah kita laui bersama.kita berada dalam lingkaran persahabatan sejati,ngk ada yang terbaik di antara kita..tpi kita semua adalah yg terbaik di antara kita dalam perbedaan and persamaan,jadikanlah pershabtan ini suatu kebanggaan.

For all of girls miss u so muchhhhhhhhh....

Diam...

Laksana diamnya karang...Inilah kesendirian yang panjang
Melampui segala rasa..semenjak kau memilih jalan yg berbeda
Kebekuan yang kinu ku rasa..hanya kamu yang bisa meluluhkanya
Andai kau tau sebnyak apa aq ini merindukanmu???
Sebanyak gerimis yang turun dari langit.
Andai kau ada di sini letakkan tanganmu di dadaku..
Hitunglah detaknya sebanyak itulah namamu selalu kuagungkan.

Jalan cinta

Kususuri jalan cinta yang di hiasi bermacam iklan cinta....
''cinta''begitu dekat begitu nyata''
aku merasa cinta itu begitu dekat begitu nyata
''love is connecting people''
ah..bukankah demi cinta terkadang orang saling membunuh..
''cinta setiap sa'at''
kenapa selalu masih ada perselingkuhan..
''cinta inside''
pada kenyataanya benci juga ada di dalam hati
kulalui terus jalan ini...
yang pinggirnya di hiasi dengan rambu cinta...
'''p-di=coret tidak ada pria and perempuan untuk di cintai
''s-di coret=tidak boleh jalan sendirian di jalur ini
''terompet di coret=tidak blh menyatakan cinta secara lntang..
''verboden=cinta terlarang
rambu yng ku cari masih belum ketemu juga
ku pilir jalur tol cinta untuk menemukan cinta yang ku cari
10 menit berlalu..terlihat sebuah papan penunjuk di tol cinta
''cinta sejati 60km''
harapan terkuak,cinta sejati yang selama ini tidak jauh lagi jaraknya
20km menjalang cinta sejati,ku temukan kembali rambu cinta
semua berwarna kuning....
''Tanjakan''Berliku''Banyak orang yg menyeberang''Ada galian''
sungguh sulit ternyata jalan untuk mencapai cinta sejati hikhik...

gw belajar..

Gw belajar..Bahwa saya tidak dapat memaksa orang lain mencintai saya,saya hanya dapat melkukan sesuatu untun orang yang saya cintai....
Gw belajar,bahwa sahabat terbaik bersama sa'at dapat melakukan banyak hal and kami selalu memiliki waktu terbaik...
Gw belajar,bahwa persahabatan sejati senantiasa bertumpuh walau di pisahkan oleh jarak yang jauh,beberapa di antaranya melahirkan cinta sejati...
Gw belajar,bahwa sebaik-baiknya pasangan itu,mereka pasti pernah melukai perasaan gw and untuk itu gw harus mema'afkanya....
Gw belajar,bahwa lingkungan dapat mempengaruhi pribadi gw,tapi gw harus bertanggung jawap untuk apa yang saya telah lakukan...
Gw belajar,bahwa tidaklah penting apa yang saya miliki,tapi yang penting adalah siapa saya ini sebenarnya....
Gw belajar,bahwa gw harus memilih apakah menguasai sikap and emosi atau sikap and emosi itu yang menguasai diri gw...
Gw belajar,bahwa kata2 manis tanpa tindakan adalah sa'at perpisahan dengan orang yang yang gw cintai.....
Gw belajar,bahwa butuh waktu bertahun tahun untuk membangun kepercayaan and hanya beberapa detik saja untuk menghancurkanya....
Gw belajar,bahwa orang yang membangkitkan semangat hidup gw kembali serta orang yang begitu perhatian pada gw...
Gw belajar,bahwa jika seseorang tidak menunjukkan perhatian seperti yang saya inginkan,bukan berarti bahwa dia tidak mencintai gw...
Gw belajar,bahwa gw harus belajar mengampuni diri sendiri and orang lain,kalu tidak mau di kuasai perasaan bersalah terus menerus...
Gw belajar,bahwa dua manusia dapat melihat sebuah benda tapi kadang dari sudut pandangnya yang berbeda...
Gw belajar,bahwa tidak ada yang instant atau serba cepat di dunia ini,semua butuh proses pertumbuhan kecuali gw ingin sakit hati...
Gw belajar,bahwa gw punya hak untuk marah..but...itu bukan berarti gw harus benci and berlaku bengis...
Gw belajar,bhwa orang2 yang gw kasihi justry sering di ambil segera dari kehidupan ge...