Friday, January 23, 2009

My Inside Thoughts...

Friday,23,january,2009



For the past several days.i have been rough feelings inside my self,i dont know what was and still going on in my life nowadays,but it seems that nothing works the way it supposed to be.if i review everything for the day that ready happend in my live between me and rock on 13 january,nothing has been easy on me,i feel like everything that i'm doing or everything around me is just DRAINING ALL OF THE ENERGY I HAVE(or even the energy i'am trying to have)I'M ANNOYED FEEL VERY ANNOYED AND WORRIED.i try my best to give him what he want but he do really make me hurt and down,i panicked and from that time on,i cant handle my frustation that i have been trying to deal within my self...
Probably it is not really about that problem only that really make me feel down,since i still can be loyal and patience to him i will do.it is abou t FRUSTATION that is inside of me ,and all i can do is BRUST IN TO TEARS,well prefer to cry rather than yelling oud loud,making all the people in the coridor worder what is happend to me.
I wanted to cry but i never cried until i talked about what happened to my father and my friend yesterday.i guessed it was just the right time for me to let go the frustation.part of me does still feel I'M SO CHILDISH to do what i did yesterday,CRYING.however part of me says it is THE RIGHT THING AND AN OKAY THING to do,it is a RELIEVE??
Today i feel lighter and comfortable with whatever has happened,starting to accept and disgest all the lessons behind it.it is like i can cope now that there will be a solution to it.
it is amazing that my father and my chilhood friend actually could feel that i was crying yesterday without me telling her that i was crying.THEY FEEL LIKE WHAT I FEEL...that is how brilliant a father and trusted friend can be...i wonder WILL BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME THINGS WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE ME.