Friday, April 10, 2009

Longing for closeness

29,march,2009

As progress become more evident,i became more frustrated when i'd slip into old protective habits,just when i thought i was free,painfull issues from the past came back to haunt me,sometimes it seemed i was taking only one step forward and five steps back.
Many times i became frustrated and wanted to give up,why continue this relationship and fighting so hard when each victory preceded a frustating defeat??
i feel so depressed i haven't cried this much more than a week,the old thoughts of despair and hopelessness are back.
I thought i had dealt with everything,but every once in a while past knocks me for a loof and i relize there are many issues yet to be resolved and that hurts,it isn't fair at all.....
I wonder what kind of person i'd be today??i keep thinking about all the years while i had my happiness of live.there's so much i wish i could change....

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